Say Something
by romeothewriter
Summary: And Elsa knew that it would be the most selfish action that she would ever execute, but she would do anything for Anna. As conflicted as she was, as contradicting as the ideal itself became, all she had to do in order to keep Anna close, to refrain from losing her, was say something. Elsanna. First Frozen fic


**_A/N: So this is my new fandom warmup lol. You can usually find me writing for Pitch Perfect strictly, but I could not help the obsession proceeding the viewing of this movie and the tag on Tumblr obviously. I am also aware that many people have taken time out of their day to bash this fandom, and hey. I've always been a seeker of controversy, so lol. This is still the first time I've ventured from my comfort zone and I am super nervous, so I do hope you enjoy this. Just let me know what you think please. Okay...here goes..._**

* * *

Her body went completely rigid as the clock struck eleven. She mentally counted down the final ten seconds, holding a deep breath and stilling her hands, which had been fiddling with the hem of her gown for the past twenty minutes. When this had begun, she would remain fast asleep until she felt the mattress beneath her dip with the additional weight at eleven and ten seconds. It never faltered, not in over three years. In the past few months however, a pleasant delicacy had become a guilty pleasure, teetering on obsession, and she could not sleep _until _the mattress sunk. Her visitor assumed that she slept through the night, forever oblivious to the second presence because had she been alerted, she would surely be angry. That was far from the case. She anticipated these visits, the warm body that snuggled into her own, thawing her frozen heart if only for a small while. It was the only phenomenon that she lived for now, all that she had to look forward to. Not even the day ahead could heighten her mood in such a way regardless of its fathomless significance. Tomorrow, everything would change. She knew this, and she was doing all that she could to accept it. _In time_, she reasoned. Yes, time. She had more than enough of that while locked away in her tower. Yet, she currently had these moments to look forward to. How could she possibly go on without them if they were to be stripped from her come daylight? What would there be to lick her lips over, to become nervous and excited for? If all was to change tomorrow, would she absolutely have to forfeit those beautiful moments where fiery red hair and luminous eyes seemed to ignite the room, paint it in vibrant colors through the night so that she slept soundly? Would she be able to...

Her train of thought was ceased abruptly by the sound of feet pattering against the cold hall floor followed by the door opening cautiously, almost silently. She would have missed it had she not been anxiously awaiting it. It closed again a second later, followed by the lightest padding of toes. She carefully expelled the breath she had held captive, not making a movement as the mattress sunk down. The covers lifted ever so slightly, but the draft did nothing to settle the traditional heat that spread through the elder's cheeks now. The cold never bothered her anyway.

A slender body carefully slid into the bed, inching towards the taller figure on the left side. Once she was close enough, she ducked her head with a soft smile, nestling into the blonde's back between her shoulder blades. She could not wake her. She had to maintain stealth at all costs. Of course, anyone would say that the only way to completely prevent that was to stay in her own bed, but the younger could not control her need to be close to her older sister, as close as humanly possible in reality. She had not begun to sneak into Elsa's room until after their parents had passed away. She had been much too terrified and cowardly to attempt it with not only her sister shutting out but her parents also supporting such a decision. She had kept her distance as suggested (demanded) regardless of the aching void in her chest and the disconcerting silence of the halls. Then their parents were gone, and the seclusion became overbearing, intolerable.

After her first round of nightmares, she had vowed that it would be a one - time occurrence. She had dreamed of the horrible fate their parents had met, and it had prevented her from slumber. She had snuck down the hall to find that Elsa had awakened as well, screaming bloody murder, yelping her sister's name at intervals, and Anna felt morally obligated to console. The moment she had nuzzled into the blonde's body, the screaming had become whimpering. Soon after, it was only silence. One time was all it took. _Her_ first time was enough however. She became addicted to it, to waking up somehow wrapped up in the blonde's arms with her cool breath tickling the back of her ear. It pained her to have to ever so tenderly slip out of the welcoming hold, but she would only have to wait away the day before she returned to it. It was what kept her going. Elsa was always the perfect temperature, and Anna loved that about her. In fact, she loved everything about her, and to this day, she struggled to understand just how deep that love ran because all she ever longed for was love from her sister. She had tried to convince herself that she only desired love in general, but each time she pictured a fairy tale ending with some sort of perfect and charming companion, her sister, the one who had shut herself away and shut Anna out, was the only qualified companion that came to mind. What that translated to was beyond her, but she decided to debunk it to the fact that Elsa, both before and after her transformation, had been the only constant in her life, even if it was from behind a door for the better part of their lives. Tomorrow, that could change however. Tomorrow, Anna knew that she would have to search for a legitimate sort of love suitable for a princess because tomorrow, Elsa would officially be queen, and she would have much more pressing matters to attend to than her little sister. There was no way that Anna meant as much to Elsa as Elsa meant to Anna. Had it been so, it would have been demonstrated long ago.

The blonde waited until the redhead's breathing had evened out before counting down from five minutes. Once that time was diminished, she carefully turned around, wrapping a protective arm around the only person left in this world that held any place in her heart.

"I love you, Anna," she muttered softly as always, pressing a soft kiss to the redhead's temple.

In response, the younger only burrowed her face further into the crook of Elsa's neck, hand clenching the front of her gown as if her life depended on it. With a small smile, Elsa allowed herself to indulge in this moment, whether it be the last or the first of many more. She needed to savor it, and with that in mind, she drifted off into a pleasant sleep.

* * *

There was a resounding crack through the center of Elsa's crystal heart when the words left her little sister's lips, and the first reason for this that hit her square in the face was one that was anything but justified. It caught her off guard, and for that, she could not readily respond.

"We would like to request your blessing-"

"For our marriage."

"E-excuse me?"

Her mouth went dry, heart beating at an unnatural pace as it gradually shattered further and further. Anna continued to stumble through her rant about planning the event and something about brothers staying here. _Here. _In _their _castle, _their _home. No. Not a home. It had not been a home in years because Elsa would not allow it to be so. What did she expect? Had she expected her little sister to agree to live like her, in solitude, for the remainder for her days? Had she expected the bright and bubbly redhead to be satisfied with nothing more than sleepovers where she couldn't even hear the elder say those three words that rolled off her tongue with as much conviction as she had ever put forth in her life? Could she ever actually believe that Anna would continue to play company to her misery? No, but she had also never expected this to hurt so deeply, to strike her so harshly because it had always been part of the blueprint for their futures. Marriage was part of the royal tradition, and sisters were never meant to live their lives together, just the two of them. Husbands and wives did that, men and women, not sisters. That was certainly beyond the pale, but Elsa just could not accept that.

"Can I - speak to you for a moment please?" the blonde managed hoarsely. "Alone?"

The redhead's anger slowly began to rise at her sister's behavior. However, this anger was for reasons far beyond disappointment in Elsa's lack of support. No, no, that was not it. Why was she angry then? Had Anna not wanted to get a rise out of her sister? It was the first time they had seen each other in years fully coherent and conscious. Still, her words were bitter as she retained her ever - growing rage.

"N-no. Anything you have to say, you can say it here. To the both of us."

"Anna, please. I-"

"Elsa, no. You can say it here and now."

How could she say it at all? Despite the excruciating pain that this was beginning to inflict, Elsa could never ask her to stay. She could never ask her little sister to continue to live in such fashion with her. How could she ever make a solid case when she could never tell her sister the reason for which she shut herself away? No, she had to let go. The sooner she executed this, the sooner she would be able to heal from such a wretched past. If she was lucky, the lonesome existence bestowed upon her would not last long.

"It's -" Elsa sighed in defeat now. "Nothing. It's nothing."

"It - isn't?" Anna questioned skeptically.

"No. C-congratulations. You - you have my blessing."

Without another word, the blonde rushed from the room, unable to speak further lest she break into a sobbing fit. Anna, beyond their segregation and lack of conversation in the past eleven years, knew better however. Her sister had something to say, and dammit, she needed to hear it. She didn't need to hear her big sister's blessing as an excuse to walk away. She needed her to say something of value. In reality, Anna didn't long for the blessing on a marriage to a strange man. She only desired her sister's change of heart, the promise to keep her close and change the path of their relationship if she withdrew her request. For Elsa, she would do so without hitch. She only needed her sister, her approval and everlasting physical, emotional and mental presence in her life. Was it so much to ask? What had she ever done to deserve such treatment from the one that she would do anything for? No, before she left this prison, she would get her answer. She could never go on to live a full life without the truth.

Anna found Elsa in the old study, perched upon the desk with her back to the door and her gloved hands desperately clutching the edges of the mahogany.

"Elsa?" she called softly.

"Go away, Anna."

The words set something off inside of the redhead, a memory painfully flashing through her mind of those very words seeping through the large oak doors, the doors that had prevented her from seeing her sister for over a decade. They were the doors that had not only isolated Elsa but also isolated Anna from the only person that meant everything to her all of her life. She would not heed them again.

"No," was her firm and commanding reply.

Elsa paused if only for a moment. "Anna, I-"

"No, Elsa. You can't push me away anymore. You can't shut me out. You-"

"Anna, please, I-"

"I can't live like this anymore! I can't keep doing this alone! I-"

The blonde jumped from the desk in the flash, whirling around. "Then leave."

The words were cracked, a feeble attempt at a final shove to remove the princess from the room, from her life albeit never from her heart.

"Elsa, don't do this," Anna managed, the words stinging like the tears now threatening to spill. "Don't shut me out. I - I love-"

Elsa could not hear those words. They would never mean what she prayed they would. "Please, just - just stop, Anna. I-"

"Elsa, please! Stop doing this to us! Stop-"

"What do you want from me! I gave you my blessing! I-"

"Why! Why must you want to get rid of me so! Why must you-"

"ENOUGH!"

It happened so fast. Anna blinked, and the next thing she knew, she was staring at the distorted reflection of herself upon the smooth surface of an ice wall. She gasped, the sparkle of the structure both alluring and intimidating, beautiful and terrifying. Then it all clicked. A slideshow of memories and a wave of nostalgia fell upon her, and it all made sense. She now understood. It felt like ages before her tiny voice permeated the air.

"Elsa."

"I - I warned you, Anna," came the choked reply. "I - I can't do this. I - I am only trying to protect you. I only-"

"I'm - Elsa, I -"

"I'm a monster."

Anna carefully sidestepped the glass barrier, finding Elsa leaning heavily against it. "I'm not afraid of you, Elsa. You are no monster."

"Don't you see? Don't you see what I've become! Don't-"

"Yes, I do. A beautiful woman with a special gift that she has yet to control."

"I will never be able to control it. I have tried for years. Papa tried. We-"

"Papa locked you away, Elsa. He made you hide who you are. You - you don't have to do that with me. You can be you. I'll always love you."

There went the sharp pang in her chest. "Anna, I - no, you may go. You may marry and move away to a happier life. Or better yet, I'll go. You can stay here, and you will-"

"Elsa, I - I only want you."

"Stop, please."

"Elsa, I-"

"Please don't say such things, Anna!" She was straightened once more, fists clenched. "You cannot love me! Not in this way! You can't-"

"I've always loved you."

"You have never known anything else!"

"You really want me to marry Hans?"

"Of course not! I don't see how you can even marry someone you just met!"

"You can if it's true love!"

"What do you know about love, Anna!"

The anger returned now in a flash. "More than you! I know-"

The queen's jaw clenched now, her body trembling. "Now that is a lie! You know what true love is, Anna? True love is locking yourself away from the one person that you can't go a minute without thinking about, wondering about, fantasizing about for their sake! True love is protecting someone and putting their safety first by locking away your evil powers no matter how badly you - you just want to go outside and build a snowman with them!" Anna visibly retracted, her breath hitching. "True love is being selfless enough to give a blessing so bitter on your tongue so that the woman you're in love with can be happy with-"

It was then that the words registered, and both sisters clapped a hand over their mouths with a gasp. Neither could believe the confession that had just been disclosed with one slip of the tongue. Regardless of the fact that she had just discovered the magic her elder sister harnessed, nothing could compare to those few words that changed her entire life in an instant. Her heart swelled in her chest, and she realized in that moment that those were the words she had longed to hear for so long. It could not be categorized as outrageous or natural, completely wrong or suitably acceptable. It may not have even been right, but to her, it felt as if the stars had aligned and all was in its rightful place. To her, it was all that mattered.

"Elsa," Anna breathed after a dense silence, shattering it.

The blonde turned away, shame and disdain etched in her features. "Anna, I - no, I'm sorry. Just please go. I didn't mean-"

"Elsa."

"Anna, please. Forgive me and-"

"I love you, Elsa. I may not have known true love, but I always felt it. It was always you."

"It cannot be this way, Anna. We could not-"

"I only ever wanted you, your acceptance and your satisfaction. It was all that I strived for."

"But it is only natural. I was all that you had, and I refused to be there."

"But I understand now. I know why, and I fully understand."

"No, Anna, I should have been there. I should have opened the door and-"

It was in a split second that her body was whipped around. Another split second, and Anna's hands were gingerly cupping her cheeks. She stiffened, tiny icicles protruding from her fingertips as her nerves began to rip away her control. Then soft, warm lips were pressed firmly to hers, and she could no longer move. She could no longer breathe. She could do nothing. All that she could do was...melt into the welcoming embrace of the younger and allow her mind to slip into overwhelming bliss, a sensation never experienced by either. They had endured loss, pain, disappointment, fear, worry, solitude and everything in between, but there had never been a genuine happiness that had enveloped them since they were children. Since before...

"No, Anna," Elsa gasped, quickly jolted away. "I can't. I - I could hurt you. I-"

"Elsa, you can't hurt me. You wouldn't. I-"

"But I did." Tears fell from her eyes, transforming into hailstones before crashing to the ground. "I did, and - we were - you were just a child, Anna. I never meant to. I never-"

Anna gripped her hands without hitch, and Elsa went rigid in fear. However, nothing happened. Anna did not freeze instantly, and the warmth of her hands encasing Elsa's offered an oddly warming sensation. Her own hands seemed to retract from the storm brewing within in that moment, all safe from harm.

"We aren't children anymore, Elsa," she reminded her lightly. "Things have changed. We can be close again. We can be - together, here."

"What about your marriage? What about-"

She ducked her head now, a deep blush creeping up her neck. "I - I only wanted you to say something, Elsa. I only wanted to know that you cared for me, that you wanted me to stay. I wanted you to stop me, to fight for me."

The queen grimaced. "And I wanted to, Anna, but - I only wanted to keep you safe. I-"

"Then keep me here, with you. That is where I feel most safe. Even when you were locked away, I only wished to be close to you."

"I know." She smiled softly. "I feel you. Every night."

Anna gasped. "You - do?"

"I do."

"Why didn't you - I mean I didn't-"

"I didn't want to startle you. I didn't want it to end. I was sure that it would all change today, that I would lose you to this world we opened our gates to. I was sure that-"

"But you won't, if you wish not to."

"I do, but, Anna, we - we can't. Not like this."

There was a slight pout from the princess now. "Why not?"

"What would the kingdom think? What would-"

"You have hidden away your deepest, darkest secret for years. I am sure that you can continue, and I have no need to socialize in such a way that would jeopardize us, this family. Besides, many monarchs have done so. I read about them. It isn't all that unconventional, Elsa."

"It is for our time, and that is not the only concern, Anna. Not only are you my sibling. You are also my sister."

"A woman."

"Yes."

"But I'm not afraid, Elsa, and you shouldn't be either." A sly smile now played at her lips."You could always just freeze any who dare speak ill of us if they were to find out."

Elsa couldn't help but giggle. "Of course I couldn't do that."

"But it would still be worth it. I would rather spend borrowed time with you than live an eternity without you."

"I will always be here, Anna. We will always be family. We-"

"I want to know what true love feels like, and - I know I can only feel that with you."

"I don't-"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course, but-"

"Then prove it to me. Trust me."

And Elsa knew that it would be the most selfish action that she would ever execute, but she would do anything for Anna. As conflicted as she was, as contradicting as the ideal itself became, she knew that she could never just continue to flee from the emotions possessed for the woman before her. She needed nothing else, only Anna, and she had a lot of time to make up for. Now, all she had to do in order to keep Anna close, to refrain from losing her, was say something.

"I -" She took a deep breath before gently leaning forward, pressing a chaste kiss to Anna's lips. "I trust you."


End file.
